Expectations and relationships.
In my little thoughts from my experience, expectation and relationship walk hand in hand, because if you are in a relationship or related to anyone, it's natural to expect from them .
If anyone says that we don't expect anything from you because your contribution is enough for both of them, then it's totally a lie. If not totally, then partially. Because you can't live your entire life in this illusion that one day he/she will respond.
And it's a wrong move from one too, who says, "I don't expect anything from you. Because you can't run away from reality,
And no matter how much we say that we don't expect anything, we do, and then when the wait is longer to come, one day it will start upsetting the person and at one it will become totally compromised.
Because showing concern for one another by asking small questions about one another entails more than just accompanying your partner to any function, shopping, dinner, or get-together. Is he/she fine or not? When you are going outside, ask him/her if there is anything he/she needs. If he is outside, then inform him that I will be late or not. Because a relationship requires two people. If efforts are not necessary from both sides, then Allah didn't need to give us relations and family.
For example, if you are the person who regularly asks your partner for his/her well-ring or arrival time or anything to keep a check on him/her to see if he/she is fine or not . But if someday you are stuck somewhere and can't contact or forget to ask, then you will definitely expect this from your partner: if you are unable to contact, he can ask or tell you not to worry about him/her. But if he doesn't, then you can't blame him/her because he/she already declared that he/she will not keep any expectations from him and you also agreed that you are enough, but if in this situation, he/she liniency, then what will you do?
It's obvious you will be upset about something for which you are responsible because he can clearly say don't expect then it will be totally heartbreaking for you. Because it's you who took the burden of this relationship on both of you, and you will definitely blame yourself for why you did this . So it's better to avoid this type of relationship than regret it later. and which costs you your mental health and physical health too. and became a depression patient.
You need to know that this is not a novel or series, it's reality and life is unpredictable. Like in a drama series, you can't expect that someday he will change. And if it doesn't, then what? After this, you can only regret that you wasted your precious life on someone who was not actually right for that.
Is this expectation a problem for breaking relationships nowadays?
For me, yes, it is one of the reasons for breaking marriages because a single person can't always carry the burden of relationships for both.
Both bear equal responsibility for one another, and when one fails, the other fails.
But the problem is that nowadays, instead of working on these issues and removing the insecurities of their partner, they both choose to break up.
What does a person need to do to work on their relationship?
First of all, the thing that is most important is to be sure that they both really want this relationship or not. Are they really ready to sacrifice and compromise for each other to help each other?
Because if one person wants the relationship by saying that I am enough for both of us, then I will suggest they not destroy their lives. Please give yourself some respect. You are not here for others' shits or an unnecessary burden on yourself. Because relationships are not charity cases where you can spend as much as you want.
And if someone says that you shouldn't expect anything from me because you want this relationship, I'm only interested in that. It is totally ridiculous.
Because any relationship can work when both people want that relationship. Other than that, it's just a gamble to check your luck and how lucky you are.
After the first step, when they both know what they want, they both have to put in their effort to make that relationship successful by understanding,care, compromise, and respect. But it doesn't mean you will sacrifice your own happiness in order to build the castle of another one.
because relationships are equal for both of them If one is not happy, then how can he make the other one happy?
And also, relationships are like riding cars. You can't drive your car on one wheel. Working on both is required.
Other than that, thinking a relationship is a responsibility is not going to work because when you think it's your responsibility, you spend your whole life only managing expenses. Because you can't always wear gold and you eat gold also. Giving a rose one morning and the other morning disrespecting can't give you a long-life relationship. Everyone needs to know that giving roses and disrespecting someone are not the same thing. Because a person's self-respect is not a 10 to 30-rupee rose, which we can buy whenever we want.
You eat food that is made by your spouse to show care and love towards you.
Having a relationship is not the same as purchasing an ATM machine. It works on care,love,time and then responsibility .
So, before you start a relationship, think about whether you are ready to love, care for, and help someone. If you can't do this, then it's better not to take this step as if you are in severe love. Because when you can't share equality, then there is no way to sustain it and it will spoil your and others' lives also.
So think clearly and make a better choice before you regret it later.
See you soon. Take care.
Many blessing to you.
By my little thoughts.